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Dating, Sex and Pre-Marriage for High Schoolers
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The following talk is aimed at helping high schoolers discern lies about sex, solidify in their minds the horrible consequences of sexual immorality and set their own standards for what dating relationships are all about.
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Dating, Sex and Pre-Marriage: High School
By John Dwiggins ©
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By John Dwiggins ©
PARENTAL INTRODUCTION:
Your sexuality and possible marriage is one of the most important areas of your life. I want you to know God's perfect and beautiful will for you in these areas of your life. That's why I've spent time preparing for this talk with you, so I could help you as fully as possible in these areas.
PLAN:
Have two meetings with you on this topic. This first meeting is to review your knowledge and augment it as necessary. The second meeting will be to review your personal standards for physical contact before marriage, and your dating plan to help you avoid sexual sin. As the seal of the covenant you make with God to keep yourself sexually pure, we will give you a "promise" ring to wear on your right hand. This ring will remind you of your promise to God and help you do what is right, just as a wedding band is a reminder of my marriage vows. If you marry, you can give it to your wife or husband as a token of your love for her.
Since you've already had several talks with me in this area and a lot of church/camp/school teaching, I will use a question/answer format, so I don't bore you with a lecture. Also, this will be a time for you to ask any questions you have about sex/dating/marriage. We will go into a lot more detail than previously.
Premarital Sex Lies Told by the Media, the devil (and others around you):
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*You won't get STDs from it; you won't cause a pregnancy or get pregnant
*Condoms make sex safe from STDs and pregnancy
*Sex is a cure-all from your problems
*Sex is great in any relationship
*Sex can be free and casual, just like playing a game of pick-up basketball
*A woman's physical beauty and bust-line determine her value as a date or partner
*Intimacy or closeness comes from sex
*The only way you can be intimate or close to a person of the opposite sex is through sex
REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD WAIT
What are the reasons why you should wait? What do they protect you from, and what good thing do they provide for you? The following are areas that we will discuss:
A. Physical (it is a sin against your body—disease, etc. 1 Corinthians 6:18)
B. Spiritual (it is a sin against God—you are HIS temple 1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
C. Emotional (it makes you hate yourself because it is degrading (Proverbs 6:26)
D. Relational (it wrecks relationships because sex becomes the focus and your communication shrivels; as Christians, you grow further apart, because you are both separated from God by sexual immorality; if you’re engaged, it can even break your engagement)
(Reference “Why Wait” by Josh McDowell for other information on these areas and why a teen should wait until marriage to have sex)
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*You won't get STDs from it; you won't cause a pregnancy or get pregnant
*Condoms make sex safe from STDs and pregnancy
*Sex is a cure-all from your problems
*Sex is great in any relationship
*Sex can be free and casual, just like playing a game of pick-up basketball
*A woman's physical beauty and bust-line determine her value as a date or partner
*Intimacy or closeness comes from sex
*The only way you can be intimate or close to a person of the opposite sex is through sex
REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD WAIT
What are the reasons why you should wait? What do they protect you from, and what good thing do they provide for you? The following are areas that we will discuss:
A. Physical (it is a sin against your body—disease, etc. 1 Corinthians 6:18)
B. Spiritual (it is a sin against God—you are HIS temple 1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
C. Emotional (it makes you hate yourself because it is degrading (Proverbs 6:26)
D. Relational (it wrecks relationships because sex becomes the focus and your communication shrivels; as Christians, you grow further apart, because you are both separated from God by sexual immorality; if you’re engaged, it can even break your engagement)
(Reference “Why Wait” by Josh McDowell for other information on these areas and why a teen should wait until marriage to have sex)
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MEASURES TO PREVENT SEXUAL IMMORALITY:
Prepare your answers for us to discuss in our second session
In this case, an ounce of prevention is worth more than a ton of cure—for no cure exists for losing you virginity!!!
Carefully think through what is the purpose of dating:
If that is the purpose of dating, what are some things you should do??
If that is the purpose of dating, what are some things you should not do?
What are some good preventative measures to avoid premarital sex??
What are your standards for physical contact before marriage?
What are your rules for dating/accountability to enable you to do what is right?
(Reference "Why Wait" book if you want to)
All rights reserved; for personal use only. No copying of this material unless written permission is obtained from John Dwiggins. This material can be ordered for other people through the 4Wisdom.org web site.
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Marriage and Family Talks with Your Children
By John H. Dwiggins
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